


All I Need

by MuscleMemory



Series: You Call And I Respond, The Sparrow And The Song [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Drowning, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:16:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8015452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuscleMemory/pseuds/MuscleMemory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus struggles with a night terror from his past, triggered by a recent event. Alec comforts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Need

**Author's Note:**

> Well, today seems to just be one of those days... for the lovely hikaru on tumblr, and anyone who may enjoy it.

Magnus is shaking so much, when Alec wakes up next to him, he's scared he has some kind of seizure.

Alec's leaning over him, gently holding down his shoulders, saying his name and telling him to wake up over and over. He's sure warlocks can't actually have seizures... he damn hopes so anyway.

Magnus starts awake, gasping for air he felt his lungs leaving ages ago. He's panting, forcing his body upwards, aware of someone, Alec, next to him, but the dream – it was a dream, right? – is lingering on in the very core of his being, for the most part hidden under thick layers of memories and protective walls, but tonight, it pierced its way through, leaving him a trembling mess.

“Magnus? What's the matter? What happened?” Magnus turns towards his boyfriend, feeling cold sweat running down his temples and neck, covering his upper lip. He's cursing himself for letting that one event that occurred so long ago in his past still fuck with his mind like this.

He sighs softly, inhales deeply and lets himself fall back on the pillow again. “Just a dream. I'm sorry I woke you, I'm alright now.” He's putting more strength into his voice than he feels but he doesn't want to worry Alec any more than he already has, and it's not even 3 am, and Alec has to leave early for a mission, he needs his sleep because he's hardly getting enough as it is.

He feels a big, warm hand with long, gentle fingers cradling the side of his face and his eyes flicker to Alec's dark ones, dark in the dim light of the room. He always sees the multi-faceted orbs in his mind because he studied them thoroughly for many weeks now. But even those eyes and that face he came to adore aren't enough to put his stirred up mind at ease.

“Hey... hey, it's okay.” Alec's voice is deep, warm and caring, settling over Magnus like a blanket and he takes another deep breath. He can feel Alec's nose brushing his temple, his soft lips following, pressing against his clammy skin without hesitation.

Magnus sucks more air into his lungs and closes his eyes for a moment, trying to concentrate on the sensations Alec is making him feel, his fingers trailing over Magnus' face, into his moist hair, brushing it from his forehead. Alec's kissing his shut eyelids now, one after the other, his forehead, his nose, gently nuzzling his cheek.

When Magnus opens his eyes they lock with Alec's again and he feels calmer, safe. His hand comes up to cup the Shadowhunter's neck, his fingers playing with the soft hair there. Alec's thumb caresses over his bottom lip once, his eyes dropping to Magnus' mouth for a second, but he doesn't lean down to kiss him, he just watches and waits. Magnus loves him even more for that.

“I told you once that my step-father tried to drown me when I was a child. I have told people before, it's not something I must hide, it doesn't touch me. Not usually. But the truth is that it took me more years than I care to admit before I could go near open spaces of water again, before I could look at it from up close, before I could even step in with my toes. I kept feeling his force pushing me into the never-ending vastness of the sea, the darkness engulfing me, filling my lungs, my eyes, and insides. Sometimes I can taste the salt and feel the iciness on my skin, and that panic that doesn't resemble any other grips me and... it's as if I'm drowning again, truly.”

He closes his eyes, runs his tongue over his lips, tasting his own sweat, his skin prickling awkwardly. Telling Alec makes it more and less real, it's a mysteriously torn sensation.

“I'm so sorry, Magnus.” He hears Alec whisper, strong arms suddenly around him, lifting him up to lean against his boyfriend's chest, his arms closing around him. He exhales exuberantly and shuts his heavy eyelids once more.

“Not your fault, darling. I don't know why tonight...” Or maybe he does.

“It is my fault... I fell into that damn lake and you pulled me out.” Alec's voice is sad, laced with guilt.

Magnus shakes his head and moves to be able to look at him. “No, Alexander, you're not to blame for that. These things happen, and you weren't the only one in the last 400 years I've rescued from drowning... though you gave me the greatest fright.”

When that demon hurled Alec through the air, straight into the water, and Alec was unconscious, just for seconds, but they dragged out in Magnus' terrified mind for much longer, all he could think of was that _please,_ Alec could not feel the horror of drowning, not that. There wasn't even the possibility of it, though, as Magnus was in that lake a split moment after Alec had hit the water, grabbing him and carrying him out. But Magnus was panicking until Jace rushed to their side and made him calm down. Alec woke up a couple of seconds later and he was fine, Magnus made absolutely sure of it. Yet, the images and feelings seem to have stayed with him, triggering the damned dream.

Alec bends his head to press their foreheads together, sighing softly, his fingers running through Magnus' soft, still slightly damp hair.

“I don't ever want you to have to feel like that again... but if you do... tell me... and let me at least hold you, if that's all I can do...”

Magnus is stunned at the way Alec's voice conveys so much at once. His genuine concern for the warlock, affection, a plea to be taken seriously, to not be cast aside because Magnus thinks he mustn't burden him, admittance of his belief to be rather useless to Magnus in this situation.

“Alexander, this... this is exactly what I need right now, all I will need in the future. Just you being here with me.” He says tenderly but firm enough for Alec to really understand how earnest he is right now. He doesn't let people see his weaknesses and insecurities, all the layers apart from the confident, sassy, insolent, powerful smartass he also is, not if he can help it, but Alec's been stripping away all his exterior, coat by coat, without even meaning to, just by being himself, making Magnus wanting to be all of himself, as well, at least with his Shadowhunter.

“I will... whenever I can.”

Magnus feels very touched, the truth in Alec's words so apparent and endearing. Magnus knows Alec can't physically always be here, he has too many obligations and places to be, as does Magnus himself. But knowing he would try, knowing he means this much to the younger man, is already more than he dared ask of him.

Magnus is smiling at him, his hands stroking Alec's arms upwards, over his shoulders and sides of his neck until they're framing his gorgeous face. “I know, darling, thank you.”

He cocks his head to the side, closing the distance between their lips, softly kissing him. He can feel Alec relaxing, his hands gently gripping Magnus' hair again and a moment later Magnus finds himself lying on the bed, a rather affectionate Alec on top of him, showering his face with butterfly kisses, his hands mapping out Magnus' body with so much devotion, only his Alexander could muster.


End file.
